I just realized it’s been four months since my last post.  The summer flew by in a sweet, refreshing kind of way.  We’ve clung to a simpler lifestyle and have remained unplugged from television, social media (hubby and I both said farewell to our Facebook accounts months ago), and anything that consistently pulls us away from family and home.

I’ll start with adoption news.  There isn’t really anything to report.  You get to this point in the process and you start to feel like you’re doing something wrong because everyone asks “What’s the latest with the adoption?” and your answer is always the same….”Nothing.  Just waiting.”  Our agency just changed some of their policies for dossier documents in order to cut down on revisions, so we’re updating some of our documents and paperwork.  Believe me, when our dossier arrives in Africa, the whole world will know it.  Through it all, we still have peace in the journey; even in all the waiting.  We may get a referral by Christmas…or it could be next summer before we’re even matched.  We’ve prayed about the possibility of getting pregnant while we wait, and that’s still a possibility, but I haven’t gotten pregnant in five years so it would definitely take a miracle for that to happen at this point.

I teamed up with a dear friend nine months ago and we set our minds (and bodies) to getting healthy and losing weight.  I had been overweight for about five years….I mean, could-be-a-contestant-on-Biggest-Loser, overweight.  At my heaviest, I could have lost one hundred pounds and still been within my “healthy” BMI range.  Scary.  Since last November, I’ve been tracking every meal on My Fitness Pal and exercising with anyone who will go with me!  I’m now consistently walking a little over four miles, three to four times a week at 5:30am.  I have a friend who lives thirty minutes from me and we meet half way several mornings a week, rain or shine, to walk together.  It only takes an hour and it’s a fantastic way to start our day.  I’ve lost almost 50 lbs (48.5 as of this morning) and dropped four clothing sizes.  I even cut up a bunch of my big girl clothes and sewed them back together several inches smaller in efforts to save money while I’m still losing.  I still have a ways to go if I’m aiming for my pre-child-bearing weight, but if I can lose 15 more pounds, I’d be completely happy to stay there for the rest of my days.  I feel great, I’m eating well, sleeping well, and I’m active.  I can’t ask for much more.  Ready for a “before” and almost “after” picture??

At my largest last fall:

At the beach last month with my love (no, I’m not bald, you just can’t see my pony tail in the pic!):

We went to the beach with my parents in July.  It was our first real family vacation….ever.  It was the first time we went away for an entire week, with our entire family, for no other purpose than to relax and refresh.  It was a priceless trip for us.  My dad is leaving for Kosovo next week and it was special to spend a week with him before he leaves as well.  Here are a few pictures from the beach.

The boys with Nana (my mom)

The boys with Grandpa (my daddy)

We’re back in the swing of things around here.  We started school on July 23rd.  It was a little early, but I figured, why not?  We had our summer and a week at the beach; we were ready!  I’ll do a post on our new school year soon.  We start CC in TWO DAYS!!  I’m so excited to begin another year with Classical Conversations.  All three boys are in Foundations this year and Joshua also begins Essentials. This is my favorite time of year…August thru Christmas!  New school year, school supplies, football season, the arrival of fall, hot chocolate, falling leaves, cinnamon-scented-everything, baking, Thanksgiving, scarves, boots, and of course Christmas!  It’ll be here before we know it!  Next month you’ll start to hear Christmas music in this house.  Oh yes, we start early. Always have!  Oh goodness, and let’s not forget a family wedding in Washington in October!  Josh and I will board a plane for a four day getaway to the west coast.  I haven’t seen this side of the family in…way too long!

hope your tuesday is terrific!

~audrey

We had our closing ceremonies yesterday, marking the end of our third year with Classical Conversations.  We have CC for 12 weeks in the fall and 12 weeks in the spring so we finish by the end of March each year.  In my home that simply means we now have five full days at home to do all of our other school work, where before, Tuesdays were given to CC.

We have schooled year-round for the past two years and we love it (well, I love it, I don’t know about the kids).  I do think the kids enjoy it as well.  It allows us more flexibility throughout the entire year and it staves off summer boredom.

This year in CC we learned a great deal about American history, classical composers, artists, anatomy and physiology, chemistry, irregular verb tenses, and a copious amount of math facts from multiplication tables to algebraic equations.  This is why it is called Foundations.  We are laying an invaluable foundation for the future education of our children.  Some of the things they learned this year do not yet make sense to them, but as they hang more information from those foundational pegs through reading, exploring, and just living life, all of the pieces will begin to fall together and they will start to see the immaculate big picture.  It all points to Jesus!  Everything we do and everything we learn; it’s all to give Him glory!

As we move into our summer schooling months this is what our day will look like:

Bible reading as a family-30 minutes

Cursive practice-15 minutes

Saxon Lesson-30 minutes

Review Math facts-10 minutes

Spelling-15 minutes

Rod and Staff English-30 minutes

Read by yourself-20 minutes

Read aloud with Mom-20 minutes

Memory Work review-20 minutes

(New) History Timeline-15 minutes

Maps and Geography-30 minutes

If we get started right after breakfast and chores we should still be finished around lunch time.  I will also be adding 20-30 minutes a day with Owen as we learn to read using Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons. He will be FIVE in two short months.  FIVE?!  How did this happen?  I still see his baby face and sweet cheeks.  He still loves to wink at me and tell me he loves me four million times a day.  He basks in being the baby.  I love it and I’ll continue to cherish it for as long as he lets me.

Here are some books on my night stand at the moment:

This book is partially responsible for our TWO TRUCK LOADS of stuff that went to Goodwill, friends’ yard sales, and the dump.  I’m a little over half way through it.  I’m not sure what her ultimate goal in this experiment was but I guess I’ll find out soon enough.  This book has challenged me to reject the excess of American consumerism and the complacency of the American church.

Words can’t really express what this book has done to wreck my heart.  Daily I find myself praying, Lord, just send us and we’ll go.  God is doing some incredible things through Katie Davis and the precious people in Uganda.  Whether you already have a heart for missions and orphans, or you’re perfectly content with your two kids and your five bedroom house, this book will challenge your faith and all that you think is important.

Imagine having everything you’ve ever wanted:  a husband who is a physician and head of a hospital, a luxurious mansion in New England, extravagant vacations, two children (a boy and a girl, of course) and all the icing in between.  Now imagine feeling like there’s something more; something better.  This amazing couple found the Lord in a Gideon Bible left at the hospital.  As they read about how Christ lived and how He cared for others and even the environment He lived in, they chose radical obedience.  He quit his job and left the medical field, they sold their house, started a non-profit called Blessed Earth and began living an almost Amish life in order to make the largest impact on our planet and for the kingdom of God.  And guess what?  They’re happier now than they’ve ever been in their entire lives.  Another easy read that will challenge the American dream.  What’s with this theme here?

And finally…

This book has taken classical education to a new level for me. My hopes, expectations, and dreams for homeschooling our children are all laid out in this book. It has lists of the classics in the back divided by age range, step-by-step instructions for how to become an effective mentor to your child or classroom, and succinctly and interestingly describes the current failures of “traditional” classroom methodology.  Homeschool, public school, or private school; this book will challenge you and the role you play in your children’s education.

happy Sabbath!

~audrey

(I am quite behind on blogging lately.  The following post was written within a few days of returning home from the Created for Care retreat.)

…It’s good to be home.

As nice as it is to get away occasionally, it’s always just as nice and refreshing to return home. When I arrived at the retreat on Friday I was praying that the Lord would simply confirm to me the changes that we’d recently made in regards to our home study. As excited as I am about bringing home our girls, I am still human and the practicalities of everyday life with two or three older children from another language and culture were starting to overwhelm me; I was fighting off fear daily. So, I must share some of the sweetness that the Lord poured out just for me throughout my time away.

On Saturday I attended two break out sessions. The first session was on HIV and Orphan Care. The speakers were Amy Levy, who has two HIV positive children from Uganda and the other speaker was Susan Hillis, who is the Senior HIV research scientist for the CDC. Susan and her husband have three biological children and eight adopted children from Russia. I’m going to have to do a separate post on all the invaluable information and truths I learned about HIV. It’s a horrible shame how many people, including many doctors, nurses, and healthcare professionals are completely misinformed about HIV and how it can can’t be transmitted as well as how it affects (or doesn’t affect) everyday life. I’m so thankful they provided that session.
The second session was on Older Child Adoption. The speaker was Jodi Jackson Tucker who recently wrote a book on older child adoption. She and her husband adopted a sibling group of three from Uganda; ages 8, 12, and 14. There were many women in the session who were able to answer my questions about language barriers, homeschooling, attachment, and whether or not older children want a new American name when they come home or whether they want to keep their African name. While every child is different, all of the mothers in that session surprised me by saying all of the older children they had adopted from Africa were elated to take an American name picked out by their new parents, especially when it was chosen because of it’s strong meaning. I have been praying that the Lord would give us a name for our oldest daughter. Of course we’ll leave it entirely up to the girls as to whether or not they take an American name, but I knew it would be good to have another name just in case.

During a time they called “Date with God”, I was able to spend a length of time alone in the Word. I turned to 1 Samuel and began to read about Hannah. I’ve read the story countless times, but this time it was through different lenses. You see, Hannah was bitter and despaired over her barrenness. She felt alone and forgotten by God. She cried out: “oh Lord Almighty, if you will only look upon your servant’s misery and remember me, and not forget your servant.” I wept as I read Hannah’s prayer in cha pter two. I encourage you to read the prayer in its entirety but here is what pierced my heart the most:

Those who were hungry hunger no more,
He raises the poor from the dust and lifts the needy from the ash heap.
He seats them with princes and has them inherit a throne of honor.

While reading about Hannah, I pictured our daughters, especially the oldest, who often takes on the mother role. I imagined the barrenness she feels, wondering if the Lord has forgotten her. I think of the lies the enemy has likely attempted to whisper in her ear; lies of rejection, hopelessness, and defeat.
I was sure I had already heard from the Lord, but just to be sure, I looked up the meaning of the name Hannah. The first site I came to simply said, “grace.”

No, that can’t be all, I thought to myself.

So I went back to my google search. As I scrolled down the page it grabbed my eyes and tears flowed as I read,
“In its Hebrew origin, the name Hannah means GOD HAS FAVORED ME!!”

Yes, that’s it!

Hannah: God has favored me

Zoe : Life

Ameris: Promised by God.

I can’t say for sure if we’re going to use Hannah as her first name, but I can say beyond a shadow of doubt that something within me resonated as I read those chapters in 1 Samuel and searched for the meaning of the name Hannah.

There were over 450 women at the retreat.  I never win anything in drawings and such so I didn’t really pay attention during the door prize drawings in the general sessions. On Saturday evening, Andrea was drawing a winner for a beautiful hand-made bag from Uganda. She loved the bag herself and jokingly read the name “Andrea Young!” (her own name) Everyone laughed and then she said, “Just joking! The winner is Audrey Wilkerson!” I think it took me a second to realize she had just called my name. I walked to the front and received my beautiful new bag; a forever reminder of the precious children of God that live just across the ocean who struggle day to day for necessities like rice, beans, and clean water. As I ran my hands over the bag, I imagined the cracked, calloused hands that stitched each patch of fabric together and attached each hand-rolled bead. When I opened the bag and looked inside tears filled my eyes as I read the words: Meet your tailor. It was the story of a man named Charles Oneka. What an honor to carry a bag with such an incredible history.
Later that night we heard from the founder of Light Gives Heat and we watched their documentary about a village in Uganda that was transformed when they helped start a small business of bead-making and eventually added hand-made bags that were sewn by a man who was infected with HIV as a young child through a dirty needle at a health clinic. The man’s name was Charles Oneka. Yes, the tears came once again. I highly encourage you to take the time to watch the documentary Moving On. You can watch for free on their website.

On the last day of the retreat they had a few more drawings and one last general session.  Once again I was not paying attention to the drawing.  After all, you can only win once.  The final drawing was called out and a few minutes later Andrea said, Oh, we have to draw again.

Audrey Wilkerson!

Confused, I slowly stood up and showed her the bag I’d won the night before (in front of 450 women, no less).

“I already won something last night.  You need to draw again.”

With a smile on her face she said, “Are you adopting?”

me: “yes, I am.”

Andrea: “Then you need to come up here.  This is yours!”

Tears welled as I walked in front of 450 women, most of whom are also adopting; most of whom didn’t win anything that weekend, let alone two things. Ashamedly, I was actually a little embarrassed to be claiming a second prize.  I really wanted them to draw another name.  I didn’t even know what I had won or how my name was drawn a second time?

I followed the young woman out of the ballroom to a small table in the vendor area.  It was MKI Travel.  They had a separate container for people to place their names in for a special, separate drawing specifically from their agency.  The lady at the table was sweet and gracious and asked if we were in the process of adopting and whether or not we still had fees to be paid.  I’m sure I looked ridiculous as I explained that we were about to send our dossier to Ethiopia and had just changed our homestudy to allow us to adopt not one, but two, little girls.  I told her that, because of this change, we would soon owe our agency $14,000, so yes, we still have fees to be paid.  She wrote down our agency’s information and said,

“We’ll be sending your agency a check, in your name, for $500 toward your fees.”

I could hardly believe my ears.  I had forgotten that Nicole had placed all four of our names in the MKI bucket on the first day.  That is how my name got called twice….that and the fact that God sought me out during that weekend.  He wrapped His arms around me and reminded me over and over that I am indeed on the right path.  He has indeed planned, before the foundations of the Earth, for our little princesses to join the Wilkerson family.

I left floating on air; humbled, that the God of the universe cares enough for me to seek me out at a little adoption retreat in Atlanta simply to remind me that He loves me and has a plan for my family.

I will leave you with this:

Remember the theme for the retreat?  Even the sparrow has found a home…

This was in my garage when I left for the retreat:

And this is what I found when I returned, two days later:

Yep, you guessed it, they’re sparrows who found a home….in my home.

There’s so much more I want to write, but I’ll end there for now.

blessings,

~audrey

I guess it makes sense that the first time I post in over a month is while I sit listening to the worship team do their sound check. I’m at the Created for Care retreat at Lake Lanier. There are over 400 adoptive moms here, representing over 1100 children, biological and adopted.
The past month has been a breath of fresh air; like stepping into the stream of living waters. I deleted my Facebook account, ignored the blog (and everyone else’s), and we’ve just enjoyed each other and basked in the Lord. Through this time of reflection, seeking the Lord in our new found quiet, and just waiting–listening for His voice, we got a better glimpse of His plan for our family. Isn’t it always incredible to look back on the journey God has had you on and see how it has led you to the exact place you’re at right now. I don’t know what next week or next year will look like, but I know His plans for my family are GOOD! So. Good.

He is sovereign.

He sets the lonely in families.

Even the sparrow has found a home, the swallow a nest for herself, where she may have her young a place near your altar…
Psalm 84:3

(This is the theme verse for our retreat.)

Before our home study was sent to immigration, we changed it to request two sisters under the age of nine.

God placed us in a foster agency that kept siblings together, and we loved that! Why not take the opportunity to keep a sibling group together?

Our change of plans…God’s changing of our plans…won’t make sense to the world and maybe even to our friends. That’s okay with us. Coming home with two school-age princesses that don’t speak our language isn’t going to be all rainbows and sunshine…but God!
For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD. As the heavens are higher than the Earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. Isaiah 55:8-9

I’m so thankful for this refreshing weekend with hundreds of women who have either tread this same path before me or are walking it right alongside me.

Praying your weekend is full of joy as you see His glory in all the nooks and crannies; right where He has you.

blessings,

audrey

If you’ve never heard this song by Rita Springer, will you take a moment (or five minutes) to listen?

We’re in a season of reflection right now in our sweet little home.  Reflection on God’s incredible goodness, all that He’s called us to, how He’s equipping us, and what we’re doing to make sure we’re giving Him our all.

We’ve been pouring over passages like:

Romans 12:2, Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that by testing, you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

and

Philippians 4:8, Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.

Those two verses alone are enough to meditate on for an entire year, but there are others as well:

Titus 2:  You, however, must teach what is appropriate to sound doctrine. Teach the older men to be temperate, worthy of respect, self-controlled, and sound in faith, in love and in endurance. Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God. Similarly, encourage the young men to be self-controlled. In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us. Teach slaves to be subject to their masters in everything, to try to please them, not to talk back to them, and not to steal from them, but to show that they can be fully trusted, so that in every way they will make the teaching about God our Savior attractive. For the grace of God has appeared that offers salvation to all people. It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, while we wait for the blessed hope—the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for himself a people that are his very own, eager to do what is good. These, then, are the things you should teach. Encourage and rebuke with all authority. Do not let anyone despise you.

Proverbs 15:1 A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

R.C. Sproul Jr. wrote in a recent blog post,  My eyes passed over God’s Word, and everything changed. I thought in turn about what usually enters not just my eye gate, but ear gate. Like most Christians I live in a decadent culture, and consume far too much of its “wisdom.” My eyes are filled with images made in Hollywood, my ears filled with the wisdom of Nashville. My soul is a veritable sluice gate through which pours more filth than my ancestors could have dreamed of. It should not surprise me then that I don’t speak with the wisdom, the grace, the discretion, the honor with which my ancestors spoke….we should celebrate the influence of God’s word.  Treasure in, treasure out.

Our family is going to spend the rest of this month defining the words in bold from these passages.  We’re going to hang them on our doorposts and meditate on these verses day and night.  Every day we’ll pick a different word and verse to focus on.  We’re going to fast from the influences of the world that we have so casually allowed into our hearts, minds, and our home: television, movies, the internet.

It’s going to be worth it all.

I read a post by Rita Springer in which she poured her heart out about the adoption of her son, Justice.  As she wrote of obedience unto the Lord, particularly amidst controversy, she said, Anything that requires obedience always requires cost; emotional, physical, and spiritual cost.

These things will always be a struggle this side of heaven.  We will never fully “arrive” in regards to righteousness and sanctification while still in our fleshly bodies, but I surely want to die trying.

It’s going to be worth it all.

~audrey

It’s 6:30am, Saturday, January 28th.  It’s almost surreal that this day is finally here.  I haven’t slept more than a few hours a night in over a week.  My stomach is behaving badly and I can hardly put two thoughts together and make them come out of my mouth correctly.  As I’ve reflected back over the planning I realized it’s not the stuff that had to be done that stressed me out, it was my emotional investment.  Money is the only obstacle left between me…and my daughter….well, that and a whole lot of ocean.  Haha!

I wish I had been writing down every amazing God story throughout this entire journey.  I’m sure I’ll slowly recall them one by one but here are a few:

One of my responsibilities for the race was to request donations of 300 bottles of water, 300 bananas, and 300 baked items such as bagels, muffins, and pastries for the runners.  What I didn’t realize was that I needed to put my request in to the grocery stores about a month in advance so they could get corporate approval.  Instead, I put in my request ten days before the race.  Only two stores gave me any sort of answer.  The first store told me I could come pick up a $25 gift card and use it to buy the bananas we needed.  The boys and I grabbed a grocery cart, picked up the gift card at customer service and headed for the produce department.  We counted the bananas and decided to put 100 in the cart.  The boys unloaded them onto the belt at the register and as the total kept climbing I looked at the boys and said, We’re going to go over. The cashier and the young man bagging the bananas knew the amount on the gift card and heard my quiet remark to the boys.  She weighed the last bunch of bananas.  My total was twenty-five dollars and seventeen cents!  One hundred bananas for $25!

The second store said the best they could do was give us a 40 pound case.  I knew 40 pounds would be a little over a hundred bananas.  That would still leave us a hundred bananas short.

God would work it out.

I arrived at the store, request the right manager and out walks a tall skinny man carrying a case of bananas.  He loaded them in my cart and with a smile said, Are these all you needed?

I smiled, thanked him, and told him we’d purchase the rest of what we needed.  He said, If you need more just come with me! We followed him back to the produce department where he loaded us up with another case and a half of bananas, gave the boys each a plantain and told us how to cook them.  We followed him over to the floral department where he asked the boys about our race and they shared with him about their sister.  He gave them each a balloon.

300 bananas.

There’s so much more!  I’ll be back!

I praise you God for your sovereign hand resting upon us and our big event.  We give You all the glory!

…more to come.

~audrey

It’s been a rough week.

First I came down with a nasty stomach virus last Saturday night.  This was the virus that just wouldn’t quit.  When I thought I was feeling better, I’d eat a little something and be back in the bathroom within 30 minutes.

My sweet Papa, my last living grandparent, passed away last Monday.  I boarded a plane for Little Rock Wednesday morning.  I prayed that my stomach bug was gone….it wasn’t.  I wasn’t able to eat normally until Thursday!  Papa’s was the first military funeral I’d ever attended.  What an honorable celebration of life.  I am so blessed and thankful to have been able to attend.  I have pictures and video of my trip that I will share soon.  Ashley was scheduled to be induced Thursday morning.  I’ve had the privilege of attending all of her other births and I was heart-broken that I wouldn’t be able to attend the grand finale. However, thanks to modern technology, I was able to attend the delivery afterall!  Stephen (Ashley’s husband) called me on Face Time (like Skype) about thirty minutes before Natalie’s birth and I was able to “be there” for the final minutes of labor and the delivery.  It was such a special time and I am thrilled that I didn’t miss Natalie’s birth just because 700 miles separated us.  Stephen propped me up near the TV in the delivery room, where I listened, watched, and waved to the nurses.

What a fun story that will make one day.  Natalie Praise Bailey was born at 11:44am, weighing 8lbs. 9oz.  She looks exactly like her oldest brother and sister.  Absolutely precious!

I’m home now and it was wonderful to be greeted by Josh, my sweet boys, and a really clean house!  I missed them so very much but I knew they were in great hands with my dear friends Sharon, Ali, and Kelli.  Thank you ladies again for all of your love and support while I was away.  You are truly a gift to me!

One last update:

The boys’ video and $1 Challenge has raised almost $600 in the past six weeks.  But we can’t stop now.  We’re so close to the finish line!  The race is in two weeks.  We are hoping it will be our final big fundraiser before we bring Zoe home.  We have about $13,000 left in fees.  Once the race is over I will begin applying for adoption grants.  Most of them take 6-8 weeks to process.  If we don’t have any hang-ups in our paperwork, we’re hoping to get our dossier in the mail by February!  Once that is sent, we’ll be finished!  I’m praying we have a referral by my THIRTIETH BIRTHDAY:  May 25.  As I boarded the final plane yesterday, my eyes filled with tears and butterflies filled my stomach:  The next time I board a plane, it will be bound for Ethiopia….and ZOE!

I imagined what it will feel like finally holding her in my arms on the flight home.  This is the year!  Zoe is coming home!  Will you help share our video if you haven’t already?

Bringing Home Baby Zoe

~audrey

It’s here! It’s time! The Trot-to-Adopt is three weeks from Saturday! The shirts are awesome but you have to register by January 20th in order to guarantee you’ll get one on race day, January 28th. But there’s more….if you don’t live in the Augusta area but would still like to participate, you can register for the race online, raise sponsors right where you are, and we’ll mail you your shirt! Please help us spread the word and if you’re already registered, start asking all your friends, family, and neighbors to sponsor you as you run for a precious little girl in Ethiopia! When we ran last year for the Digsby family, I was able to raise $100 one Wednesday night at church! We are praying that God would use this race to spread awareness about adoption and help us raise the rest of the money we need to bring our sweet baby girl home.

SponsorshipForm

Thank you for all of your love and support!  I hope to see you ALL on Saturday, January 28th!

~audrey