Hahaha, I had no idea what I was going to title this post.  I was trying to get creative as many thoughts ran through my mind:  four days until Christmas…a short work week…oh the cleaning and laundry I have to do over the next three days…the heater is out in my car

…then I looked up at the calendar above my computer and saw that today is officially the first day of winter.  That is very fitting, seeing that it is 35 degrees outside and the forecast says we’re in for a cold week, including a yucky, wet Christmas. 

We had a wonderful Christmas program at church yesterday.  A dear lady in my Sunday school class gives books for Christmas every year.  Two years ago she gave me a hilarious, light-hearted book called, “Speaking Mom-ese”.  It was full of sweet and funny stories from moms all over the world.  I laughed and cried and finished the book in two nights.  I always look forward to her book every Christmas.  Most years she gives the same book to all the ladies, but she always finds a different and unique book just for me (at least I like to think she only does it for me…I guess I’ll never know).  Imagine my excitement when I pulled my book out of the pretty red bag and read this title, “Who Got Peanut Butter on My Daily Planner?  Organizing and LOVING Your Days as a Mom”!!  Did I write a book and just forgot about it??  I am so excited to start this book, I’ve even debated putting my cleaning and laundry off for ANOTHER day just so I can dive into bed with a cup of coffee and my new book….but that would not be very good for all my little guests coming tomorrow. 

I’ve invited Ashley, Kelli, and all nine of their children to come over tomorrow for lunch, cookies, and some last minute Christmas crafts.  I LOVE that almost all of my friends have three or more children.  I mean, I don’t have any desire to compete with the Duggars, but I LOVE children and I love that my closest friends feel the same way.  I’d have three more if I didn’t think my husband would have a nervous break down.  Who knows, maybe God will give us two or three more through adoption.  🙂  One can only hope.

I feel like I subconsciously went on strike last week after the foster children left.  For five weeks, I’d been doing three loads of laundry a day, sweeping and mopping the kitchen sometimes TWICE a day, cooking for eight, dropping off and picking up two children from two different schools, etc, etc….I was exausted and I think my brain body just shut down Monday night.  I didn’t clean, cook, or do one load of laundry for the rest of the week.  Needless to say, we ate lots of spaghettios and Ramen noodles, my house is a smelly mess, and I have a garage full of dirty laundry to do.  SOoo, I’m working on my second cup of espresso, there’s Pinesol in the sink, two loads of laundry going, the beds are made, the dishwasher is working hard, and I’m ready to attack my Monday like never before.  I may even have time to start my new book when Owen goes down for a nap. 

I’m so excited about Christmas and seeing my family.  Call me crazy, but I think I’m going to do a little more decorating this afternoon after I finish cleaning the house.  The boys and I finally have a few Christmas presents to wrap. 

God has been so good to us and has really blessed us over the last week with a little money to buy each other Christmas presents.   More on that later….

Happy Monday!!

~audrey

I suppose I’ll write about the good surprise first.

I love this time of year. I love going to the mailbox every afternoon to see whose Christmas card has arrived. I love the pictures, stories, and family updates. Of course it’s even more exciting when you open your mailbox and there’s a brown package inside with YOUR name on it! That is what I received today! The package is from my sweet cousin, Liza. She, her hubby, and their cute doggies live in Arkansas (where I was born). Check out the goodies inside:

There were two awesome Christmas towels with our last names embroidered on them, an adorable picture of her dogs, and a note at the bottom of the card, “Starbucks cards don’t expire, so even if ya’ll don’t get there before all ya’lls kids turn 20, it should still be good!” HAHAHA!! Oh, Liza, if you only knew how often we MAKE time to drive thru Starbucks. We should own stock. I also think therapists should prescribe Starbucks for depression, anxiety, exhaustion, oh the list could go on forever. I’m not sure a mental state exsists that Starbucks couldn’t improve upon with a holiday beverage of choice. Works for me every time!

Liza, you made our week!! Thank you so very much! Ashley was so excited when I called and told her. We’ll take pictures of our girls’ day out tomorrow. We’ve got a little Christmas shopping to do and we’re taking Susan along for some girlie time.

Ok, different surprise now. Not so great.

I woke up at 4am, Sunday morning (12/13) to give Joshua some tylenol because he had a fever. When I got up, I realized my arm was itching. There seemed to be a little bug bite on the under side of my forearm. There wasn’t much of a mark on my arm, so I didn’t think anything of it and went back to bed.

By Sunday night, the bite area had grown to about the size of a dime and it burned a little bit.
On Monday I called my mom, who happens to be a wound nurse, and she told me to mark the boundaries of the spot with a sharpie so I could know for sure if it continued to spread and get worse. By Tuesday, it was the size of a half dollar. You can see the picture I took at the doctor’s office.

The doctor said it was either a poisonous insect/spider that bit me, or I’m simply having a bad allergic reaction to whatever bit me. Either way, he gave me some antihistamines and told me to keep an eye on it. He also marked the new boundaries with a black sharpie marker and said to call if it got any bigger.

By Thursday it had doubled in size again so I headed back to the doctor. In this picture, you can see where Tuesday’s boundary was drawn and it had spread about an inch all the way around. GROSS. I know.

This time the doctor really didn’t like the way it looked and insisted upon DRAINING IT and sending the ooze to the lab. What happened next almost made me lose my lunch. The doc reappeared with a needle the size of a screw driver and said those dreaded words, “There’s no sense in numbing you because either way, it’s just one stick.” ARE YOU FREAKIN’ KIDDING ME!? I’ll take one tiny needle containing numbing medicine so I don’t have to FEEL the DRILL BIT as you insert it into my arm…PLEASE!! Nope. No pain meds. She pushed the needle in until I yelled, “THAT’S ENOUGH!” Then, she pulled it out and began mashing around and pushing and squeezing…and that’s all I’ll say about that part so you don’t have to lose your lunch as well. The jury is still out. They sent the ooze off to the lab and we’ll know something on Monday. Until then, I have to ‘drain’ the wound site every three hours during the day and they’re treating me for MRSA with a heavy duty antibiotic until they get the lab results back. Here is what it looks like today:

Tonight, we have a graduation party for my sister-in-law, Erin. Congrats college grad!!!

Happy Friday Everyone!!

~audrey

When the children were picked up on Monday, I casually said to the case worker, “I sure hope to talk to you soon.” Meaning, we’re looking forward to receiving more children. She smiled and agreed, but said that they had not received a new placement into the agency since the end of September. That surprised me, but I know it will happen in God’s timing, so that just gives us more time to pray for the next children that will come to us.

Imagine my surprise when the agency called me yesterday afternoon and said, “We have another possible placement!” It was a sibling group of four that they were trying to separate into two placements of two children each. They said if it worked out to separate them, we would either receive a two and a three year old…..or ONE YEAR OLD TWINS!!!! How awesome!! How crazy would that be for God to give me twins within month of Ashley having hers?? I immediately picked up the phone and called Ashley and asked her to start praying. I also told myself it probably wasn’t going to work out, so I truly didn’t let myself get excited. About 45 minutes later, the agency called back and said, “Sorry, DFCS decided to place with a different agency in hopes of keeping all four of the children together.” Yikes. God bless the family that receives four children ages three and under!

I know we’ll have news of another placement very soon. Until then, I’ll bask in the ease of only having THREE for the moment and just enjoy Christmas with my family.

Happy Thursday people! Tomorrow is FRIDAY!!!

~audrey

As I woke up this morning, day two of only having three children in my house, I had a renewed sense of peace. Yesterday was very hard. I was reduced to tears in Jesse’s class when a sweet little five year old girl approached me and said, “Mrs.Audrey, I really like your earrings and your eye shadow…and your shirt.” I smiled and said, “Thank you Baylee; pink is my favorite color!” She got a big smile on her face, leaned toward my ear with bright eyes and whispered, “Mine too!” My eyes welled up with tears and I had to leave the room for a moment.

What in the world was that all about?

Was it because my little Baby Girl took a piece of my heart with her as I loaded her into the case worker’s car on Monday? That sweet little girl that couldn’t speak but sure knew how to love. I miss her crazy hair, toothy grin, and the way she’d hold on ever so tightly, with her head planted on my shoulder everytime I picked her up, as if she knew she was safe in my arms. I also miss this:

She and Josh had a sweet, special bond and I know he misses her too. In fact, he stuck his bottom lip out last night as he walked into the office/Baby Girl’s room. Sad. I miss Baby Girl.

Even little Owen asked Monday night, on our way to church,

“Mama? *Baby here?” *of course, he said her name*

“No honey, she’s not here.”

“Oh”, he said, “She’s in Daddy’s truck?”

“No baby, she had to go bye-bye.”

He then proceeded to ask the very same questions about Four Year Old and Biggest Brother as well. We all miss them.

___________________________________________________________________________________________

I got bit by something in the middle of the night Saturday/Sunday and woke up with a bite on my left forearm Sunday morning. Every day since then, it has gotten larger and has continued to burn and swell. My mom is a wound nurse, so I sent her this picture and she sent me right to the doctor.

They said it’s either a bite from a poisonous bug, or I’m just having a bad reaction to whatever bit me. I’M STILL FREAKIN’ OUT AT THE FACT THAT WHATEVER BIT ME, BIT ME IN MY BED!!! GROSS!!!

They gave me some oral antihistamines and marked me up with a sharpie so we could tell if it continues to grow. If it gets worse, continues to grow in size, or if I start displaying any other symptoms, I’ll have to do a round of antibiotics and just pray it’s not a flesh-eating infection. HAHA!

Check out this absolutely adorable picture of my big baby boy at the doctor’s office. They did so well while we waited and waited.

P.S. I’m hoping to put my hubby to work over Christmas break, by redesigning my website. I’m not doing any professional organizing right now and I don’t see myself having time for it in the near future either, so I’d rather the focus of my website be redirected to my blog. I’d like my blog to be the home page of my site and I’d like to brighten it up a little. We’ll see what he can come up with.

Christmas is TEN DAYS away!!

~audrey

My boys seem to have a favorite Christmas song this year and I love it!

“It’s Called Christmas With a Capital “C”

Toward the end of the song, the guy says something about how Christianity is the religious heritage of our country and if you don’t like it, “PUT A HELMET ON!  IT’S MY COUNTRY TOO!”

So I laughed out loud when I was leaving the grocery store this morning and I heard Owen say, in his sweet little two year old voice,

“It’s MY country too!”

…last night, Josh took our three boys to my in-laws’ to visit Josh’s grandma who is in town through Christmas.  She hasn’t seen the boys in over a year.  I decided I didn’t want to risk the stress of uncertain behaviour from Biggest Brother, so I stayed home with them.  It was a good decision.  Josh and the boys had a nice quiet evening at Mimi’s and I had a nice, uneventful evening at the house with ‘our other three’. 

I decided to color my hair last night after I put Baby Girl in bed.  My plan was to color my hair darker than usual and then pull it through a cap and highlight it.  I know, I’m so cheap.  I’ve only had my hair colored ‘professionally’ twice in my life and it was discounted both times.  It’s just TOO expensive.  Well, the first color came out nicely, but as I suspected, it was pretty dark.  Too dark to leave it by itself, with no highlights.  So I opened up the highlight kit to get started.  UNFORTUNATELY, someone had already STOLEN the cap out of the box! 

Uh oh.

Josh is not a fan of the dark-haired me.  I am a blonde and he prefers it that way.  🙂  My plan was to wait until this morning and I’d run to the store and get a new kit with a pull-through cap.  Go figure, Josh didn’t even notice that I’d colored my hair TWO LEVELS darker than my natural color.  I had it pulled back in a pony tail.  So when I got back from the store with the highlighting kit, I said, “Did you even notice that I colored my hair??”

He looked over at me and said,

“HOLY COW!  IT’S DARK!”

HAHAHA!!

Gee, thanks for noticing honey.

I’m looking forward to the final outcome.  I may even wax my eyebrows today.  A nice Saturday of cleaning and grooming and pampering….between diaper changes, bickering, and time-outs.

Have a marvelous Saturday!!

~audrey

Last night ended badly, to say the LEAST.

Biggest Brother exploded worse than ever before. And again this morning when he realized the consequences of last night.

Tension is high in my house right now.

I dread 3:00pm when I have to pick him up from school and face the weekend.

Lord, what do we do?

~audrey

The in-home counselor came to visit Biggest Brother and Four Year Old yesterday afternoon. She was so sweet and we really hit it off. When she was finished visiting with the boys, she and I talked for almost an hour. It was completely ‘off the clock’ and it was wonderful. I feel like I’ve been so deprived of uninterrupted adult conversation for the last month; it was very refreshing.

Another unexpected therapy session: an impromptu visit from the Baileys!!! Ashley called me right before I left to pick Biggest Brother up from school and asked if she and all five kiddos could stop by. Of course I said yes! I hadn’t had them over since before the twins were born.

It was an abnormally warm day for December. A nice breeze was blowing and it was about 75 degrees out! All THIRTEEN of us sat outside for almost two hours. It was GLORIOUS! Ashley and I each held a twin while the other nine kids ran and jumped and climbed and squealed. It was like letting them outside for the first time after a long cold winter…but it’s only December and it hasn’t even been that cold! Hahaha!! My kids and the Bailey kids haven’t had a playdate like that in SOOoo long; it was much overdue and we could see it through the joy on their faces.

Yesterday was one of the best days I’ve had in a very long time. What is usually the “hours from hell” (between the hours of 4pm and 6pm…homework, restless toddlers, hungry children, daddy is not home from work yet, etc, etc…), turned into the best afternoon EVER.

Ashley and I haven’t sat down and just talked and laughed in way too long. I can’t even remember the last time. It was incredibly therapeutic. I went to church completely invigorated. I felt as if I could conquer anything.

Isn’t it crazy how a little visit from a friend can lift your spirits like that?

So, why don’t we recognize that our time with the Lord, even when it’s short, is SO important? Ashley and I talked briefly about how much we’ve lacked in our quiet times lately. We know how much different our day to day lives are without our time in the Word and in prayer, so why don’t we make it a priority? Even if all we do is read ONE verse and pray for FIVE minutes. Don’t you think your heavenly Father will bless that time? We do not serve an ‘all or nothing’ God. It’s not a matter of quantity as much as obedience.

I am recommiting myself to spending time every morning with the Lord. I cannot survive without His all sustaining strength, wisdom, grace, and mercy.

…Jesse was home sick yesterday after he puked at school yesterday morning. Today he had a field trip scheduled, but he had climbed into bed with Josh and me last night, so when the alarm went off at 6:45 this morning, I rolled over and asked Jesse if he’d rather go on his field trip or stay home with Mommy again. The choice was simple; stay home with Mommy. 🙂 As a result, I turned off the alarm clock, cuddled up with Jesse, and we ALL slept in until 8:15am. Oh glorious sleep! Biggest Brother was an hour late for school, but it was SO worth it.

Ashley stopped by this morning to pick up the boots Jonathan left in the backyard last night. She brought the kids inside so I could take Biggest Brother to school. I drove thru Starbucks (for the mommies) and Dunkin Donuts (for the kiddos) and headed back home to my house full of friends and kids. Right now I have baby Drew, Jonathan, and my youngest five while Ash runs to Kohls with her momma. Why didn’t we realize BEFORE now that this was all we needed?! Sure, it can get crazy with all these kids under one roof (or in one backyard), but isn’t CRAZY a little more bearable when your best friend is sitting next to you making you laugh?

We will definitely be doing this more often.

Happy Thursday!

~audrey

Can you believe Christmas is 16 days away?!

Christmas is my very favorite time of the year. I begin to get into the Christmas spirit sometime in September usually. But this year has been a little different. I’m STILL not in the Christmas spirit.

I’m trying, believe me. It’s just so hard when you’re as busy as we have been, with so many children, so many responsibilities, and so many commitments. It’s hard to relax. It’s hard to enjoy the little things, soak up the ambiance of Christmas in all the little places that you’ve always enjoyed in the past. I’m just going to have to make a better effort to consciously do it. Afterall, I only have 16 days left until it’s all over for another year.

On another note, Jesse only made it thirty minutes at school today before he threw up in his classroom. He hasn’t thrown up or complained of stomach issues since last Saturday, so I don’t know what’s going on. He’s been home all day now, still says he’s not feeling very well, but hasn’t been sick again. Ugh.

I had CPR and CPI (Crisis Prevention) training and certification yesterday and today. It was pretty good. I feel very good knowing I am now properly trained in CPR. I definitely feel like I learned a great deal today.

Well, I need to get my house cleaned up in the next two hours before I have to pick up Biggest Brother from school.

~audrey

Another hectic and stressful Saturday, followed by a busy Sunday, leaves me yearning for my sweet and faithful Monday.

I must give major props to my incredibly hot incredible husband. He has been unbelievable throughout the past month as we’ve all been adjusting to our new additions and all the challenges that have come with that. Daily, I find that the dishwasher has been emptied, there is a fresh trash bag in the trash can, the toddlers have new diapers/pull-ups on…all the things that he WOULD help me with in the past with lots and lots of nagging, but I’d have to ask or remind him a few times to get it done. He is my rock. He is strong when I am weak. He hears from the Lord when I’m too tired to even listen. He rubs my back at night without expecting anything in return…if you know what I mean! LOL!! 🙂 He has just been an awesome husband, partner, and friend and I wanted to give him much credit where credit is due. I love you Babe!

Today (Sunday) has been just about perfect. Church was without drama, which is always a good thing, but never guaranteed! We went over to my in-laws’ church to have lunch which was delicious and also without drama (seriously!)! Then we went home, put the little ones down for a nap, and Jesse and I jetted off to a birthday party for a little boy in his class. When we got home from the party, which was a TON of fun, Josh took Joshua out for a little while, just the two of them. I made dinner while the children played, we ate, and now everyone is in the living room watching America’s Funniest Videos before teeth brushing, jammies, and bed! I cannot believe tomorrow will be December 7. The SEVENTH! Christmas is 18 days away!!! YIKES!

I will end with this:

Someone gave me something anonymously this morning at church. It was a heavy paper bag containing a book and a jar. The jar was filled to the top with silver coins; nickles, dimes and quarters. The book was titled, “Christmas Jars.” I can’t wait to start the book tonight and tell you about it soon. Just another blessing in a very critical month for us. The jar contained almost $50 in change. Thank you Lord!

We were challenged this morning in church to DO THE WORK. Don’t just talk about God’s goodness and how much he loves to bless his people. BE A PART OF IT! Let your actions match your passions. SHOW them God, don’t just talk about Him. Yes, I’m preaching to myself. 🙂

Have a great week. Look for ways God can use you ‘in the marketplace’.

~audrey

I can’t give you details, but we’ve had some issues this week with physical aggression and Jesse has been the recipient of it. It is a big deal.

I am so torn.

Does my child even feel safe in his own house?

I can handle these issues all day long, but I’m not sure how much I can handle if it is all being directed at my children. This is exactly why we originally set a very young age limit on the foster children we were willing to accept into our home…yet we caved and accepted a ten year old. I can handle ‘little kid violence’. Hitting, throwing things, biting…it’s different when the person being mean to you is your size. But when they are TWICE your size and sleeping in the room next to yours, it’s scarey and intimidating.

Jesse was very sick about two years ago. For over a year, Jesse would get sick every 2-4 weeks with high fevers, diahrrea, vomiting, and stomach pains. He never ever went more than four weeks without getting sick. If someone around him had a cold, he’d end up with an extreme version of the same cold or virus and it would last for seven to ten days instead of a normal 3 or 4. After months and months of surgeries, procedures, blood tests, visits to specialists, etc, the only thing that was EVER found was that Jesse has some immune deficiences in his blood which cause him to get sick easier. They even gave him a booster shot of one of his vaccines because his blood work showed the vaccine didn’t work the first time. You know what happened after the booster shot?? A fever of 105 for six days!

It’s not celiac disease.

It’s not chrones disease.

It’s not leukemia.

He’s not allergic to a single thing.

All that could be found was the immune deficiencies in his blood.

Another thing that seemed to affect Jesse’s health was his environment. Jesse is a home body. He likes to be at home and he likes to be with family. For that year and a half or so, everytime we’d go out of town, even to grandparents’ houses, Jesse would have a fever within 24 hours. It was mind boggling to say the least.

Jesse’s health played a big part in our decision to homeschool him last year. The boys have been on Juice Plus+ for two years now, and I even refused Jesse’s four year old shots for about eight months to give his body more time to strengthen. Jesse has been healthy for over a year and a half now! I can’t even remember the last time someone puked in my house….until today.

The first day of Thanksgiving break (about 10 days ago) Jesse began having diahrrea. It was SO bad that his bottom was completely raw and he cried all the time for days because he hurt so bad. I gave him children’s pepto bismal around the clock (according to the directions of course) and it never really seemed to go away completely.

As I said in the beginning, this has been a stressful week for Jesse because of things that have happened in the last four or five days. Every night, Jesse tells me he doesn’t feel very well. This morning (saturday) he woke up with stomach cramps around 6:00am. By 6:30am he was hovered over the toilet vomitting.

He just wants to be held.

I called my mom to tell her, and her first response was, “Oh Audrey, he is stressed.”

My heart is breaking. I really think stress is causing his symptoms. I don’t know what to do.

I gave him some anti-nausea medicine and he hasn’t vomitted again.

We’re suppose to go to Jesse’s school this evening for caroling and the lighting of their Christmas tree. Jesse also has a birthday party to go to tomorrow afternoon.

Please do not misunderstand me. I am under no dilusions that we will ever have ‘normal, perfect’ foster children in our home. Kids will be kids and these children will likely always have issues of some sort. But no mother in her right mind would be okay with taking someone into her home and then subjecting her own children to verbal and/or physical abuse by this person.

I am praying that the Lord heals Jesse and gives Josh and me wisdom as to what steps need to be taken. I do not know what will happen next.

Please pray for us.

~audrey