Isn’t it strange how we go through seasons of wanting something SO badly, only to realize it definitely wasn’t what God had planned for you at that particular time in your life?

I have a handful of friends between their late twenties to mid-thirties that are still awaiting husbands. Most of them are content with where they are in life, but a few are somewhat miserable and simply consumed with thoughts of marriage and the future. I’d be lying if I said I was never like that. Not necessarily about getting married, when I was single, but about other things relating to the future.

How many more children will we have?

Will we get another foster placement before our girls arrive?

Should we try to get pregnant again?

Am I filling the right roles at church?

Are my boys getting all that they should from me as their teacher?

Some of these questions are legitimate, but most are just a sign that I really prefer to feel as if I’m in control of my life, rather than freely giving everyday to my heavenly Father.

Our women’s ministry at church is called, “Girlfriends at Grace”. We’ve just begun some ‘special interest’ groups, called “G Groups”, within our women’s ministry and I agreed to lead the book club. It’s called Lit and Lattes. We’re reading Francine Rivers’ new book, “Her Mother’s Hope”. Read it! It’s so good and I’m only half way through it.
Last night was our kick-off meeting, held at my house. The boys went to my parents’ house to spend the night. I was able to devote the entire day to cleaning my house and getting ready for the ladies to come over. I cleaned things I hadn’t even noticed NEEDED cleaning before! I wiped down every single door frame in my house! I couldn’t believe how disgusting they were and how I’d never even noticed before! I cleaned out drawers, cabinets, and used an ENTIRE magic eraser getting pencil, marker, and crayon off of the walls. It was wonderful to have the whole day to get everything accomplished. I’ve needed a day like that for quite some time, and it felt good to wake up to the same clean house this morning. As I sat in the living room with all of those dear women last night, I thanked God for putting me exactly where I belong right now. As I mourned those other foster babies not coming last week, and then congratulated two friends on new pregnancies, I twisted and turned inside as I longed for the Lord to fill my womb, just one more time.
But last night, I looked around and saw such a variety of life in every seat of my living room; two women were retired, one woman has four children: one is married and expecting their first child, the twins are in college, and her youngest is in her final year of high school….at home. What an exciting time! Another young lady had just graduated from high school, will be starting college in the fall, and just got a job at Starbucks. And of course my dear Ashley, sitting on the floor, surrounded by love as the twins scooted and cooed and giggled all over the place, putting smiles on everyone’s faces.
In that very moment, I thanked God that I am freely submitted to whatever He has for me and my family. And in that submission is great freedom, peace, and joy. I don’t know what tomorrow holds, but I do know that He has me in the palm of His hand and His promises are for life and prosperity, whatever package it may come in.
It’s hard to believe my children are growing up so fast. It’s been over two years since I’ve held a baby to my breast in the middle of the night. Owen has been out of diapers for over six months now. There are no more sippie cups in my cabinets or dishwasher. I have a FIRST AND SECOND GRADER for goodness sake!! Where does the time go? As I plan for the coming school year and all that it holds, I’m excited about this new season. It could all change tomorrow, with one phone call from the agency. But I will have joy and peace as I walk through the unknown.

~audrey

First off: HAPPY FRIDAY!!

It’s hard to believe this is still the same week.

The same week in which I found out we would not be getting the babies.

I had a foster parent meeting this morning and then I headed over to the church, where somehow, I’ve become the “in-house” wedding florist. I actually REALLY enjoy it. I make the bouquets, arrangements, and boutineers. It’s a lot of fun…and a little stressful. I have to help the bride with her make-up in the morning, which is also stressing me out a little.

Tonight, I have a surprise birthday dinner to go to at PF Chang. I haven’t been there yet, but hear it’s really good. I’m just really excited about spending the evening with girlfriends…we could eat at Chick-fil-A for all I care!

My mother-in-law has my boys right now and will be dropping them back off at the house in the next 30 minutes or so. I really ought to be running around getting as much cleaning done as possible, but instead, here I sit, at the computer. I’m really relaxed because I know it’s the weekend, so I kind of feel glued to this chair. I’m not sure I could get up even if I wanted to.

In case you don’t know me well enough to know how much of a nerd I am in my own quirky little ways, let me tell you this:

I am SO excited for July to get here so I can start using my new homeschool academic planner!! 🙂

Have a fabulous weekend!! It is 107 degrees outside in Augusta. Holy.Smokin.Cow.

~audrey

After our exciting bomb shell news last Thursday evening about getting a new foster placement, I spent the entire weekend preparing; washing preemie clothes, getting the cloth diapers back out, changing batteries in the swing and bouncer, making sure all of our laundry was caught up, and just trying to get the house super clean so I can “coast” for the next week or so while we all get adjusted.

The children were originally going to be arriving this evening, sometime after 5:00pm. Then I got a call this morning informing me that I’d need to travel with my supervisor to their county (about three hours away), so I could meet with the NICU nurses and be trained on how to use the breathing monitor for the baby. I got all kinds of new details about the children, the baby, the background, etc. I was really getting excited. Even better, my mom is off on Tuesdays, so she will be able to keep the boys while I go out of town to pick up the children. All of this new stuff was just getting me more and more excited.

Then, all of a sudden, out of no where, my supervisor called me back and said the case manager is suddenly apprehensive about sending the children so far from home because the mom still has to have visitation with them on a weekly basis and it’s going to be a lot of traveling for the preemie. It’s true. So, things were up in the air for a couple of hours until I got another phone call from my supervisor again. This time, with the bad news; they’re not coming. It’s just going to be too much for the baby. He was nine weeks early and is still in the hospital as of today.

Obviously God has other plans, but I sure am disappointed. I could practically smell that newborn baby as I imagined holding his tiny five pound body. And of course I was excited about dressing that little two year old girl in the sweet dresses I’ve already been buying for my girls. I looked forward to ribbons and bows, knowing that God’s timing is perfect and everything would work out according to His plan.

That’s a little harder to swallow now.

~audrey

When our last foster placement left three weeks ago, I informed my supervisor and case worker that we really, REALLY didn’t want any foster children over the age of four in our next placement. I was told it isn’t common to get two or three siblings and one not be older than four, but that they would keep that in mind because none of the other foster parents want babies…too much work. Of course, then we got the call about the girls, but haven’t heard any more on that, so imagine my surprise when I’m at a birthday party this evening and get a call from my supervisor with a new placement!!

It is PERFECT!!!

Three siblings, from another county, so I never have to meet the birth parents and will not have to participate in any sort of visitation between the children and the birth family. But best of all—the ages:

a preemie boy, not even released from the hospital yet!!

a 16 month old boy

and

a 2 year old girl!!!!

I already have clothes for the girl that I’ve been buying for my girls!! I’m hoping I can borrow some preemie clothes from friends and I should have plenty for the 16 month old. They will arrive on Monday!

Please pray for a smooth transition. I have to take a class at MCG on how to care for a preemie. I am so very excited to have a newborn in the house. Pray that the baby doesn’t have any effects from mom’s drug use.

I’ll update soon. Owen’s birthday party is Saturday.

~audrey

You know, like The Boy Who Cried Wolf?

That’s what I feel like! …Except for the fact that I am not actually lying about our girls, it just feels like I’m talking about something that doesn’t exist because this is turning into such a long, communication-starved journey.

The good thing is, my sweet supervisor at our agency put in several calls to some “more important people with a little more pull” toward the end of last week. SOOooo, hopefully, hopefully, HOPEFULLY we’re hear something of some sort SOMETIME this week. 🙂

Last week was a whirlwind of pool mornings and late VBS evenings. I started to not feel so well on Thursday of last week and by Friday night I was miserable with a sore throat and a fever half way through the night. Josh had the terrible sore throat as well and my mom called me Saturday morning to inform me that she had tested positive for strep. So, being sick and tired, I sent Josh to the clinic Saturday morning, hoping if he tested positive for strep, they’d give ME a prescription for antibiotics as well since we share germs quite often….you know, being husband and wife and all. 🙂 I was right. He tested positive and the doc gave us both prescriptions for FREE antibiotics; thank you, Lord, for that program!

My amazing in-laws kept the boys all weekend for us so we could lay around, take our medicine, watch movies, and eat an entire box of popsicles…..undisturbed. I’m serious, I’ve never had strep that bad before. On Saturday, I felt worse than when I had the flu…..it was more like the worst case of the flu on top of the worst sore throat I’d ever had in my life. Anyways, enough whining, I’m all better now.

Last night, after the VBS Family Night Cookout at church, we all piled in our bed and the boys suddenly were all enthralled with Little Women, you know, my favorite movie in the whole world?!? I can’t believe it! Three little boys begging me to remember at what “chapter” we stopped the movie for bedtime prayers, so we could pick back up tomorrow at the same spot.

Yes boys, I’ll remember. We turned it off right when Jo refused Teddy’s proposal and they’re both in the woods by the old fence….I’ll remember.

Joshua even said, Momma, do we have the next one? Meaning, do we have the sequel, I guess? When I told him “No, there is no sequel.” His response was perfect,
What?! How will we know what else happens later in their lives??

Believe me, Joshua, I feel the same way!! I’m hoping their love for the movie will make them want me to read them the book, which surely has many more details about their lives, as books always do.

We just finished lunch and the boys are piled into my bed again, so I’d better go start the movie.

Happy Monday!

~audrey

Cucumber and squash learning to grow “up” together. 🙂

The first green pepper.

With the promise of more to come!

Look at this chubby cucumber! Can you see another one growing in the background?

Learning to climb up the trellis as to keep the ground insects away.

The first squash of my entire life. Last year’s squash crop was a complete failure!

The flowers on the squash plants are gorgeous.

The first signs of okra!

Green Bean Forest is looking full and promising. Do you see all of those baby beans in there? I’ve already picked over a dozen. I’m clipping the ends, washing, and freezing them, until I have enough to serve the family.

This has definitely been the best year yet for the Wilkerson’s Garden. 🙂 I’m really enjoying it.

Happy Wednesday!
…day three of VBS. It’s been a great week so far!

~audrey

This was the title of the message Sunday morning at my church:

God’s Waiting Room

I want to give you some of my notes from the sermon because I feel like it applies to all of us at some point in our lives. Aren’t we almost always looking for that next promise to come to fruition? I hope you get as much out of it as I did:

…Has God ever promised you something that hasn’t come to pass yet? What has the time of “waiting” done to you?

“But when the fullness of time had come, God sent forth his Son, born of woman, born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons.” (Galatians 4:4-5, ESV)

The phrase “the fullness of time” was defined for us: Fullness means the filling up of something that is empty until it is full. Time is a limited period or interval, as between two successive events.

Christ’s birth was a surprise to everyone. God had been preparing and prophesying of His coming since the old testament, but no one knew exactly when it would be.  Everyone had been LOOKING for the Messiah, but when He finally came, it was a surprise!

In God’s waiting room, there are vital things that need to be learned and cannot be learned any other way then by waiting.  In Jesus’ case, what needed to be learned was the enormity of sin and the hopelessness of eternity without a savior.

There was a sin (Adam and Eve) and there was a promise made by God, to bring a savior, and then there was a long, LONG wait.  The waiting period is essential to learning things we don’t know that we don’t know!   🙂

So what is it you are waiting for?  Has God promised you a baby? A new home? A husband? A job? Salvation for a friend or family member for which you’ve been praying, for what seems like decades?

What are you suppose to be doing in God’s waiting room?

1. Learn all that you can.  The lessons are a whole lot more that just patience.  If you’ve learned nothing in the waiting, except to be patient and wait, then you’ve likely prolonged the waiting.

2. Obey everything you already know to do. Don’t be surprised by an agonizingly long wait if you aren’t doing what you’ve already been told and taught to do.  Hasn’t anyone every told you, when God tests you, if you fail, you don’t move on to the next thing.  You keep taking that same test over and over and over until you finally get it!  Are you still disobeying God in the area for which you’ve been praying?  Are you still making those same financial choices and expecting God to somehow work a miracle now?  Obedience is greater than sacrifice.

3. Remind God (and yourself) of His promises, but resist the urge to hypothesize about the path to achieving them.  This step is to build your faith.  Remind yourself, in your prayer time, of the promises God has made to you.  If God wanted you to know anything beyond the very next step, He would have told you!  His mercies are new every morning!

4. Grow up.  Immaturity is why an heir is not given their inheritance.  The Father waits until his child is mature enough to handle the full responsibility of his inheritance before he allows them to receive it.  We judge time based on our watch or calendar, when often times God judges time based on our maturity.

5. Enjoy the journey.  God’s waiting room is not intended to be punishment.  The mercies of God are new every day.  The journey can be just as enjoyable as the destination!  If you live expecting to only get fulfillment from the mountain tops, then you’ll miss great joy and blessing in the valleys.

6. Don’t tap out or quit.  When Jacob wrestled with God, he never gave up or “tapped out”.  God is not trying to break you.  Rather, He wants to mold you, train you, and teach you.  It was all about a blessing.  Jacob ultimately received God’s blessing because he refused to quit.  And the Lord changed his name from Jacob to Israel, which means Prince of God.

Joshua 21:45 says, “Not one of the good promises which the Lord made to the house of Israel failed; all came to pass.”

What are you doing in the waiting room?

~audrey

No. I am not pregnant. Haha…that would NOT be funny.

However, a friend reminded me the other day that adoption, especially the route we’re taking, is an awful lot like pregnancy. A somewhat slow process in which you find out fun and exciting tidbits of information a little bit at a time. For some reason that made me feel so much better about our waiting process. I’ve been so frustrated that DFCS still hasn’t called my supervisor back yet, but I’m hoping it’s just because they’re passing our home study along to all the right people and waiting until they have some great news or are ready to move the girls.

Just knowing their sweet names is enough to keep me going for at least another few weeks I suppose.

In the mean time, I’ve learned how to make hair bows and I’ve been having a blast! I’m going to order a few different types of clips and plan to start selling them to raise money that we’ll need to offset the added expense of adopting two children. Here are a few pictures of what I’ve made so far:

~audrey