Frustration
I have many frustrations lately.
Not enough hours in the day.
Not enough energy FOR my day.
I have morphed into this unorganized, chaotic version of myself and everyone around me is suffering.
I have been sick for a week and a half now and don’t even have time to go to the doctor….I even started taking an OLD antibiotic I found in my medicine cabinet in hopes that it would make me feel better! My throat and neck hurt so bad I can hardly eat. Just moving my tongue while I talk or chew something makes my throat and neck hurt.
I just got over a terrible case of pink eye and now have no more contacts (that aren’t infected). My prescription is expired, so in order to buy new contacts, I have to get an eye exam…which I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR!! So I’m stuck in these glasses which have a layer of hair product on the lenses that will not come off. So my vision is no longer gooey with infection, but now is speckled with hair spray and mousse.
Sister has been getting in trouble at school everyday for the last two weeks. She lies to me about why she gets in trouble and her teacher appears to be a ‘strange bird’, to say the least, that didn’t give me much clarity when I met with her earlier today.
Our little girls should be arriving soon (or months from now…who knows!) and we’re now being told that our agency has NO MORE foster homes to take the three that we have now when our girls arrive!?! WHAT?! I made it very clear that I did not care about that and I will keep the three foster children we have now in ADDITION to our girls (and our own boys, of course) before I would let them put our girls in another foster home. That is the only reason we agreed to take these three and let them stay is because they assured us that they would move these children when our girls arrive. Frustration!
I’m at my wit’s end (not that it takes very long to get there) and I’d really like a day off. Can I arrange that? Is there some magic phone you can pick up and Mary Poppins will arrive on your roof within one hour? If so, will you lend me the phone?
HOWEVER, through all of my short-comings, failures, frustrations, and disappointments, God remains. He never leaves me nor forsakes me. He has blessed me with a husband who chooses to be home rather than spend some much-deserved time with ‘guy friends’. He lays in bed and lets me ‘vent’ when I need to. He comes home for lunch so I can go meet with Sister’s teacher or attend a meeting at the foster agency. God is so good. I know that everything I’m going through, God has allowed. I just need to pass this test so I can move upward and onward in my journey with Him.
~audrey