Just when I thought I was getting good at expecting the unexpected, I’m thrown another curve ball.

I got a call this afternoon from the children’s case worker with DFCS. Barring any unforeseen hitches, the children will be going to a relative tomorrow afternoon!

I have a ton of laundry to do and I need to make sure all of their things go with them, preferably clean.

I feel like I kind of lost my last shred of hope in regards to our girls after hearing about my supervisor’s conversation with their case worker and this relative that is still holding out hope. As a result, I told my boss to go ahead and consider us “open” for another placement when these kids go home. However, she stopped me mid-sentence and said she has not given up hope and still thinks they will be coming next month. AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I’m so tired of the ups and downs.

I didn’t expect to feel this sad that these kids are leaving. I will miss them terribly. Each one is so different. I feel like I’ve given Sister a new confidence and identity in who the Lord created her to be and where she is to place her worth. Little Bear is so sweet as he follows me around babbling, “Momma, Momma, Momma, Momma, Momma,” with his big brown eyes staring deep into mine.  He hugs me so tightly, as if he knows I’m not going anywhere and he’s safe with me.  And sweet Baby Bear; his soft curls and contagious smile.  I’ll miss those slobbery kisses every morning as I open the door to his room to see him standing up in his crib with a big gummy grin on his face.  I will miss these kids.

The craziest part is, we could potentially start all over again in a few weeks.  Whether it be with our girls or other new foster children, it’s never easy and it’s never comfortable in the beginning.  It’s so stressful.  The sleepless nights, discipline issues, meeting the new birth parents, getting into a routine.  It’s exhausting for the first two weeks or so.

But, we’ve done it twice already, so I suppose we can do it again.

This is totally random, but Owen was in my bed this afternoon because he said that was where he wanted to take his nap.  I came into the hallway to check on him and I smelled poop.  (**uh-oh**)

Sure enough, he had pooped, taken it out of his underwear himself, smeared a little on my bed in the process, flushed it, and washed his hands.

WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WITH THAT KID?!

~audrey

The good news is, everything went excellently in court yesterday. Many truths came out and everyone involved is surely looking out for the best interest of the children. I believe mom got a bitter taste of reality and was finally put in her place. They will be going to a relative soon if everything goes as planned.

The bad news, or potentially bad news, is that my boss spoke to the case worker for our girls and found out that the relative who wanted to take them and was denied has moved to a different home and asked for a new home evaluation. If that home evaluation is approved everything will be over and the girls will go to that relative. Ultimately, I know that would likely be the best scenario for the girls; to remain with family. But my heart aches at the thought of them never joining our family. We should know within 30 days how things will end up.

We’re trying to be realistic. We don’t want to sit here with our house open (no foster children), waiting for two little girls that will never end up coming. However, we also don’t want to jump into another placement when these children leave, only to find out that our girls are on their way and now we don’t have room for them! Why does it have to be so complicated? I’m still clinging to hope that these girls are meant to be ours and we will hear good news in the end. But either way, I know that God’s plans are to prosper us and not to harm us and we will have peace with whatever the outcome.

Time to get in the shower and pack for our picnic in the park with Jesse’s class. 🙂 They have a field trip to an assisted living facility and then a picnic in the park. It’s suppose to be our first 80 degree day today! Yay!!

~audrey

Please pray this morning as our foster children’s case goes back to court.  I’m pretty sure there is no chance the children will be returned to their parents yet, but I’m praying that some negative things that have been going on will come into the light.

“MOM” is very deceptive and manipulative and it is hurting ‘sister’ terribly.  She is thriving here and we love her very much.  I know she will eventually go home, but I pray that she will be going home to a Mom that has grown up because of the circumstances and is ready to really be her Mom and love her the way she deserves to be loved.

Also, please continue to pray for God’s timing in the arrival of our little girls.  There are currently no open foster homes for our current foster children, so I don’t know what would happen if we were to get a phone call that our girls are ready to come today.  It doesn’t make me nervous.  If God has brought us this far, He will be faithful to complete this awesome miracle for our family and our daughters.

Please pray.

~audrey

This weekend was ah-mazing.

The weather was absolutely beautiful. The kids were great. We had fun in the sun and made plans for the next few weeks.

We’re going to borrow a tiller from a friend so we can get started on our new garden. This year’s garden will be ten times bigger and in a different location. I’m planning for wild flowers, herbs, vining plants, and all the usual fruits and veggies. I can’t wait to get started!

Today is another GORGEOUS day.

Sunny and 70.

I took Jesse to his new Immunologist this morning and he basically said if all he finds in Jesse’s blood work is the same immune deficiencies that we already know about, he does not want to see him back.  He said about 1 in 5,000 kids have this type of immune deficiency and the majority of them outgrow it before puberty.  I told him of my plans to home school and he said that would definitely be the best thing for him and his immune system.  The blood work was incredibly traumatic, as usual, so I decided to keep Jess home from school.  We ate breakfast at Chick-fil-A and came home to work in the back yard.

We played catch, raked leaves, prepared our old veggie garden for flowers, and had lunch on the back patio.  Now the boys are sitting in the front yard watching the tree guys take down our neighbor’s tree.  I love boys!  🙂  So easily and simply entertained and fascinated.

Days like these make me long for a country home where the boys could run wild and we could tend to our little animals (because of course we’d have animals!), pick flowers for every room in the house, and make fresh bread every week.

I suppose I can do most of those things with the house I have now…except for the animals.

I’m so excited for summer and having the kids home all day.  Later mornings are sounding really good too.  I’m looking forward to some summer schooling as well.  I know it sounds torturous, but the kids really thrive on having a solid daily routine…that doesn’t involve cartoons and video games.  It will, however, involve a swimming pool of some sort; hopefully the Family Y.   Six weeks to go!!   Jesse’s last day is May 15!!    YYAAYYYY!!!

~audrey

Tomorrow is Saturday.

We have nothing planned.

That is my favorite kind of Saturday.

Last weekend, Josh took the three big kids on a bike ride in the afternoon while the three ‘babies’ slept. I got a lot done around the house and I have a feeling tomorrow has the potential to be one of those days again.

I have big hopes for tomorrow. I’d like to open every window in the house.

Take the sheets off of all the kids’ beds and wash them.

Dust every room in the house….and the ceiling fans…yikes.

Make Pioneer Woman’s Cinnamon Rolls for breakfast.

Pull some weeds from my emerging flower beds.

Sip lemonade on the back patio, under the umbrella, while reading a good book…wait a minute…back to reality! I’ll settle for drinking lemonade with my lunch…maybe under the umbrella… on the back patio. 🙂

I want to relax. I don’t want to raise my voice at the children…or my husband!

I was suppose to take Sister to get her ‘hair did’ tonight, but the plans fell through (huge relief!) and she got on Green today at school, so we’re going to celebrate tonight and go out, just the two of us, after the babies go to bed. I’m thinking I had better get started on those cinnamon rolls tonight so all I have to do in the morning is put them in the oven and make the glaze. Oh it will be so yummy.

Ooooh, maybe I’ll get up early tomorrow and go for a walk…if these steroids don’t kick my butt again tonight. Please, Lord, let me sleep tonight and not feel like I might die before the sun comes up.

Just when I thought I’d rather have the pain of the subacute thyroiditis over the side effects of the steroids…the steroids wore off, the full pain came back…and I changed my mind, poured a big glass of sweet tea, and downed another handful of Prednisone.

I almost died of shock when I looked up the side effects of Predisone and found that I was experiencing almost ALL of the “Less Frequent or Rare” side effects. For example:

headache
nausea
flush cheeks or face
restlessness
trouble sleeping

And, are you ready for this one?

….HICCUPS!!! I’m not lying. I was bent over in pain last night from six or seven rounds of hard hiccups…you know, the kind that feel like someone is stabbing you in the chest or the throat? It was terrible! So I literally gasped when I read that hiccups was a REAL SIDE EFFECT of this drug! This is a drug from hell and I hope to never be on it again….ever…in my life!

The best (**sarcasm**) part is, the doctor never returned my call today, so I don’t know if I’m suppose to keep taking this drug from hell, or stop right away for chance of fatality. Who knows! I guess if I’m still posting about it Monday we’ll know everything is just fine and I’m just one of those lucky people who get the diseases only 1% of the population get and experience the “RARE” side effects that no one else ever experiences.

I hope you all enjoy the BEAUTIFUL Spring Weather tomorrow!!

~audrey

These are my Publix deals for today’s shopping trip

1 Jar of Mott’s Applesauce-$1.36
4 boxes Chocolate Cheerios- $.56 (total!)
1 Quaker Instant Grits- $.90
1 Hellman’s Mayo- $1.44
2 Lipton 100ct. Tea Bags- $2
2 Jars Classico Pasta Sauce- $1.58
5 boxes Betty Crocker Muffin Mix- $1.50 (total!)
1 Duncan Hines Brownie Mix- $1.24
1 Velveeta Shells and Cheese- $1.29
2 boxes Ritz Crackerfuls- $3.38
1 bag Keebler Fudge Shoppe Cheesecake Middle Cookies- $1.74
2 12oz. bags of Dunkin Donuts Coffee- $9.48 (seems like a lot for coffee, but it’s actually $3.00 cheaper than buying the same amount at Walmart!)

I’m saving about 75% off regular retail price.

I know some of you have voiced concerns about developing a ‘hoarding’ mindset when you stock pile cheap groceries. I’ve also heard some say that they feel like they wouldn’t be relying on God’s daily provision if you’re stocking up like this. First I’d like to say that I do not buy for six weeks at a time like some coupon queens suggest you do. Everything on this list will last us less than two weeks. As a family of EIGHT, we go through a box of cereal every day. We go through four to five loaves of bread per week, and don’t even get me started on the amount of coffee it takes to keep me going! I feel like couponing IS God’s provision for our growing family. It’s smart to be frugal and make good choices. In a time where money is tighter than ever, we’re working hard to get out of debt, put money in savings, and be generous givers. Coupons help us keep our momentum going, as well as purchase groceries that I usually would not purchase because they’re too expensive without a sale and coupons.

Coupons have also allowed me to quit shopping at Walmart for groceries. Don’t get me wrong, I still go to Walmart every week. It is about one mile from my house and I can go to Walmart and be back in less than 20 minutes for emergencies like diapers or milk at 9:30 at night or 6:00 in the morning.

Okay, enough about the coupons for now.

These steroids are killing me. I was awake at 3:00am with nausea, a terrible headache, I felt like I had a fever, but didn’t, and I was shaking all over. It was horrible. I vowed not to take another dose, but my parents insist I must finish the steroids in order for my thyroid to shrink back down to normal. Please pray these chemo-like symptoms will go away and today/tonight will be 100% better!

HAPPY FRIDAY YA’LL!!

~audrey

As the day wore on yesterday, my throat and neck were feeling worse; almost unbearable. I sent the kids outside to play and I laid down in my bed with an icepack on the front of my neck. I finally called Josh and told him that I really needed to go to the clinic. He took everyone but the baby with him to church and I headed to the clinic with a 25lb. baby carrier hanging off of my arm. I told the doctor what my symptoms were, he felt around my neck, asked a few questions, and confidently said,

“You have subacute thyroiditis and I’d like to run some lab work to check your thyroid levels. This is very rare. I’m thinking you may need to pay another visit to Dr.Terris (my thyroid surgeon) and just let him take the rest of that bad boy out.”

Not exactly what I wanted to hear, but it definitely explains all of my symptoms and why my antibiotics were not helping at all. It is considered a ‘disease’, not an infection. I am being treated with a high dose of steroids and will likely be going back to my surgeon in the near future. As much as I love the right, and only remaining lobe of my thyroid, it hasn’t exactly treated me well over the last year since being separated from it’s twin. 🙂

I guess it’s time to take some pain meds and get started on this overwhelming amount of housework in front of me. Hmmm, where will I start? What are my goals for today? I must set some attainable goals.

If I don’t attack this pile of clean laundry RIGHT NOW it will resemble Mt.Everest by lunch time. And the office, oh the office…also known as the baby’s room. It’s bad. Clean winter clothes that won’t fit in the drawers, but I’m afraid to put it in the attic because as soon as I do, we’ll have another week of 40 degree weather. A dirty diaper on the floor, blankets from other rooms, stuff all over the dresser. What to do, what to do! Oh well, I guess if these are the worst of my problems, I’m in pretty good shape.

Today is Thankful Thursday! Remind yourself of all the ways God has blessed you. God’s plans are to prosper you and not to harm you! He takes JOY in YOU!

~audrey

I have many frustrations lately.

Not enough hours in the day.

Not enough energy FOR my day.

I have morphed into this unorganized, chaotic version of myself and everyone around me is suffering.

I have been sick for a week and a half now and don’t even have time to go to the doctor….I even started taking an OLD antibiotic I found in my medicine cabinet in hopes that it would make me feel better! My throat and neck hurt so bad I can hardly eat. Just moving my tongue while I talk or chew something makes my throat and neck hurt.

I just got over a terrible case of pink eye and now have no more contacts (that aren’t infected). My prescription is expired, so in order to buy new contacts, I have to get an eye exam…which I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR!! So I’m stuck in these glasses which have a layer of hair product on the lenses that will not come off. So my vision is no longer gooey with infection, but now is speckled with hair spray and mousse.

Sister has been getting in trouble at school everyday for the last two weeks. She lies to me about why she gets in trouble and her teacher appears to be a ‘strange bird’, to say the least, that didn’t give me much clarity when I met with her earlier today.

Our little girls should be arriving soon (or months from now…who knows!) and we’re now being told that our agency has NO MORE foster homes to take the three that we have now when our girls arrive!?! WHAT?! I made it very clear that I did not care about that and I will keep the three foster children we have now in ADDITION to our girls (and our own boys, of course) before I would let them put our girls in another foster home. That is the only reason we agreed to take these three and let them stay is because they assured us that they would move these children when our girls arrive. Frustration!

I’m at my wit’s end (not that it takes very long to get there) and I’d really like a day off. Can I arrange that? Is there some magic phone you can pick up and Mary Poppins will arrive on your roof within one hour? If so, will you lend me the phone?

HOWEVER, through all of my short-comings, failures, frustrations, and disappointments, God remains. He never leaves me nor forsakes me. He has blessed me with a husband who chooses to be home rather than spend some much-deserved time with ‘guy friends’. He lays in bed and lets me ‘vent’ when I need to. He comes home for lunch so I can go meet with Sister’s teacher or attend a meeting at the foster agency. God is so good. I know that everything I’m going through, God has allowed. I just need to pass this test so I can move upward and onward in my journey with Him.

~audrey

My Aunt Kathy and I had been emailing back and forth and we started talking about our gardens, starting our seeds indoors, and composting.  One thing led to another and she surprised us by sending us a big worm farm that eats your garbage and turns it into compost!  The boys were ecstatic!  They counted down the days until our worms arrived.  The farm arrived before the worms, which allowed us to read the book that came with it.

The drain at the bottom is for the compost “tea” that the worms make…also known as worm pee!  You dilute it one part ‘tea’ to one part water and your house plants will love you forever!

To prepare the farm for the worms, we read the book, shredded newspaper for ‘bedding’, collected our kitchen scraps in our cute little compost bucket for a few days, and soaked the coir (the hair from the outside of a coconut) in water for the first batch of ‘bedding’.

Then the big day arrived.  We were suppose to get the worms in the mail last Thursday, but instead we received a phone call from the post office informing us that we’d need to go pick them up.  I went to pick them up and they couldn’t find them!!  I informed them that I had six anxious children waiting on this package and then I told him what was in the package!  Still no luck.  I went home and looked up the tracking number online, called the post office again, and someone finally found the package, which was sitting on a supervisor’s desk.  Long story short, someone made a personal trip to my house when they got off at 5:00 to deliver our worms.  They came in this little white pouch:

One pound of little red worms.  I read in the book that there are an average of 600-700 worms in a one pound bag.  I didn’t believe it…until I dumped them in!!

When these little guys arrived, they were as skinny as an uncooked spaghetti noodle.  Now, almost one week later, they are as big around as a pencil and loving their new home.  We have yet to receive a drop of tea, but they sure are going through the garbage quickly!  We’re suppose to feed them twice a week until our first tray is full and then leave it alone and let the worms work their magic.  It has a total of five garbage trays, but it takes several months to add all of those trays.  The trays have little holes in the bottom and as you add a new tray of garbage, the worms migrate upward into the new tray.  It’s actually VERY cool!

Here is what we put in our worm farm on a regular basis:

fruit and veggie scraps–minus citrus peels, which the worms don’t like very much

tea bags and coffee filters, along with the coffee grains and tea leaves

cream of wheat

oatmeal

left over scraps in the fridge that are no longer good enough to eat (as long as it doesn’t contain meat)

NO dairy

NO meat

The cool thing about our farm is that it doesn’t smell and doesn’t attract insects.  Josh says it will not come inside, but I don’t think he’ll have a choice when the hot summer months get here.  The worms will die if they get too hot.  In nature, when the weather gets super hot, worms can go deeper underground.  But in our worm farm, they don’t have anywhere to go to escape the heat.  For now, their home is in the garage.  🙂

Thank you Aunt Kathy!  We love our worms!  If we get really bored this summer, we’ll take the top off and begin to name them.  Hahaha!

~audrey

I’ve known quite a few people in the past who regularly read 5 Psalms and 1 Proverb each day.  This schedule brings you completely through both books every month.

This month, our worship leader challenged us to “March Through Proverbs”.  Today, obviously, is the 16th, so I read Proverbs 16.  I found a great verse that I will be using a LOT around my house with my children.  It is Proverbs 16:24:

“Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.”

Did you know that scientific studies have been done to prove that harsh words can change the molecular structure of a living thing?  Scientists looked at a piece of apple, for example, before beginning the experiment.  It would look like a ‘normal’ apple under the microscope.  Then, they would sit and yell at the apple (I’m not joking.) and scream horrible things at it, speaking directly to the apple.  When they placed the very same piece of apple back under the microscope, it looked completely different; almost as if things had exploded, like a war zone.

How much more of an effect do our words have on our souls?

Duet. 30:19b:  “I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing; therefore choose life, that both you and your descendants may live.”

In two days, I will read from Proverbs 18:21:  “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.”

I don’t know about you, but with six children constantly pulling me in six different directions, I have to consciously and constantly mind my words.  I want to be speaking life and blessings into my children.

~audrey