The Ants Go Marching…
This was NOT my ideal Monday, to say the least. I was exhausted this morning…go figure, so I got Jesse up a little later than usual to get ready for school. He was a little crabby because he fell at church last night and busted his mouth on the concrete and was a little sore…once again…go figure! My phone was turned off, so I missed the call from my car pool buddy that she was not going to be able to pick Jesse up for school, so Josh had to take him, which was not a big deal, I just felt bad that my phone was off! I had grand plans to do school with Joshua this morning as well as get the house cleaned up from the weekend. We did get a good bit of school done, but then I got side tracked and we went to the christian book store so I could get some ideas for the toddler nursery at church… entirely different story in itself. While I was there, Owen proceeded to grab any and every toy or book that was wrapped in celophane and begin to open it so he could PLAY WITH IT!? Each time I told him “NO” and took an item from him, his frustration and anger mounted until he finally threw himself on the floor of this nice, quiet, good smelling, slightly populated CHRISTIAN BOOKSTORE. Have you ever heard the term “LOSE YOUR RELIGION!?” I was SO there. I could literally feel someone staring at me as I “gently” grabbed his arm and tried to “talk him down”, knowing that I was really the one that needed talking down at that moment. By the time we got to the check out counter, I was sweating and I’m pretty sure I had veins popping out of my neck. The lady smiled and said, “Aw, so that’s who was making a little fuss. Would he like a balloon?” Gee, thanks lady, that’s exactly what my disobedient, tantrum throwing toddler needs…a REWARD!?! I let her give Joshua and Owen both a balloon, but Owen, of course, threw another fit getting into the car so I looked him right in the eye and popped his balloon. Go ahead, gasp as you picture Owen’s sweet face in disbelief that Mommy just popped his brand new balloon…but he SO deserved it!
From there, we met Josh for lunch near his office and surprisingly, that went smoothly. When I got home, however, I was greeted by hundreds, if not THOUSANDS, of ants in my kitchen. You see, apparently my husband tossed a bag of candy into the ‘plate’ cabinet thinking that was a good hiding place from the boys. However, all he did to seal the bag was roll the top down a bit. When he tossed it into the cabinet, it apparently unrolled itself and was basically a giant NEON sign for ants, “ALL YOU CAN EAT BUFFET–RIGHT HERE!! Of course we are out of indoor/outdoor bug spray right now, so I pulled a Big Fat Greek Wedding and began spraying every square inch of my cabinets and walls with WINDEX!! As I’m spraying the cabinets, walls, and anywhere I can see ants, I realized something…we haven’t had ants since we put our new BLACK countertop in. I swiped the windex-soaked paper towel across the counter, and with ONE swipe, covered the bottom of that paper towel in ammonia scented ants. GREAT, the ants were ALL OVER my countertop and I couldn’t even SEE them! All of this was happening as I’m TRYING to prepare dinner. Chicken parmesan was on the menu tonight. I was very excited about this meal. I hadn’t made it in a while and I have a really great recipe. I had defrosted the chicken and had all my ingredients ready to go…except the OIL. It’s pretty hard to fry chicken for a family of five with less than a 1/4 cup of oil. Very hard indeed. By this point, I was laughing hystarically at what could POSSIBLY go wrong next. I actually considered for a good long moment, completely downing the remainder of the cooking wine sitting on the counter in front of me. It was THAT kind of day. I mean really, has anyone ever actually consumed white cooking wine for the purpose of a “glass of wine”?? Gross. I’m so glad I talked myself out of it, but it was a close call. The meal turned out just fine and I’m still squishing ants with my fingertips every time I go to the sink in the kitchen.
I must say…I’m good and ready for TUESDAY!
~audrey