Wide Awake At 3AM
Today was going to be a busy day, but I had everything planned out (go figure :), so I was expecting everything to go smoothly. I had the boys’ clothes laid out, sippie cups were full, diaper bag packed, directions to my pre-op appointments, etc… I went to bed exhausted at 11pm last night…3am Owen woke up crying. I gave him a little water in a cup and went back to sleep. I, on the other hand, could not! I tossed and turned for an hour and a half. One of the reasons I could not get back to sleep is because I had a dear family member on my mind. Josh’s cousin Michael was killed two weeks ago in a tragic bull dozer accident. He was 36 years old, married, and has three children ages 11, 6, and 3. Jill is his wife’s name. Everytime I think about her and the children, I cannot help but cry. So as I laid there in the dark, my mind began to wander. I thought about all the things that Jill has lost. Never again will she be able to rest in her husbands arms as they settle into bed after a long hard day. She no longer has her very best friend at the dinner table each night. She now kisses her dear children and tucks them in bed at night and goes back to her room, where she must sit and listen to them cry themselves to sleep, knowing that in a few short years, little Sophie will probably not remember much about Daddy at all. As I laid there in bed, listening to my husband snore like a helicopter, I thanked God for my sweet husband and precious children. Our pastor has always taught us never to ask “Why, God”…but rather, “Why not me, God?” It is only by God’s grace and mercy that we awaken each day to our families, our children, our spouses…all that is normal to us. All that we hold dear could easily be gone in an instant. I strive everyday not to take anything for granted, but to cherish each slobbery little kiss, each sleepness night because of the helicopter laying next to me, the mounds of laundry and piles of dirty dishes. I wouldn’t trade them for anything in the whole world.
I finally got out of bed at 4:30am and gave up on sleep. I cleaned up the house a little bit, put some laundry in the dryer, started the coffee pot, and began to get ready. It was actually a good thing that I chose to get up because I was ready in plenty of time to wake up the kids, get them dressed, and leave for the babysitter, while still leaving time for school traffic. I arrived at my appointment only five minutes late…that’s pretty good for me. I waited and waited and waited all morning long. Luckily I had a good book with me that I am now almost finished reading! Four and a half hours later, I headed to pick up the boys from our friends’ house.
Just a side note: Before I left anesthesia pre-op, I had to ask the anesthesiologist if a certain medication I had taken was safe before surgery. His response, “I don’t know, I’ve never heard of that medication. Let’s see…” He sat down at his computer, right in front of me, and GOOGLED IT! I’ve always knowing I could be a doctor! I google EVERYTHING related to my health!! 🙂 LOL! Kidding. Let’s hope he has more sources of information and experience than Google, or I might be in trouble Monday morning! 🙂
~audrey