In The Stillness
It’s Friday night and I am finally winding down (now 10:45pm). My house has been quiet for almost three hours and I have enjoyed two hours of mindless TV and a little good reading as my babies are fast asleep and a nice quiet weekend awaits us with open arms.
A little while ago I put my book down and decided to do something constructive. I could feel a “second wind” coming on and I knew I should get some things accomplished around the house while I had the time and energy. One thing that needs to be done every single night is, what we affectionately call, “a whole house sweep”. That is when every room in the house is combed over for stray toys, laundry, and dirty dishes. Usually I don’t get to this task until the kids are in bed, so I have to make a little pile of toys somewhere in the living room, then I’m off to sort the dirty laundry and start the dishwasher.
Tonight, as I put a load of laundry in the dryer, cleaned up the kitchen and hand washed a few pots and pans, a sweet peace came over me. I stood at my sink with the kitchen window wide open. A cool breeze, with the light scent of clean laundry, blew through my hair as I closed my eyes and suddenly became overwhelmingly aware of how content I am with my life. I love where I am. I am enjoying my children more now than ever before. I am approaching my seventh wedding anniversary to the man of my dreams who still, after three children, five moves, and the stresses of everyday life, loves me unconditionally and treats me as his princess. I enjoy the little moments of quiet at night when I can sit on the couch with ‘My Love’ and catch up on a few loads of laundry, mop the kitchen floor, or fill three little sippie cups so they will be ready for the boys in the morning. By God’s grace, I never seem to grow weary of these little tasks that are really more a pleasure to me than work. I feel I am living the roll God created me to fill; to nurture, love, guide, and protect. To be an encouragement, help meet, and respectful admirer of my husband.
Yet in the midst of this bliss is an underlying excitement for the unknown of what lies ahead.
Just a few months from now, the dynamic in our house will completely change. We will be housing two little children who have been thrust from their own birth parents for whatever circumstances and we will choose to love and care for them until they can return to their home. I may have many sleepless nights ahead as someone else’s infant or toddler lie awake in a strange house with strange people, and only myself and my husband to comfort them. I will fight to remain balanced in the attention and love I give to my own children as we adjust to our new house guests. And I can’t help but think that we will likely have foster children in our home this time next year. Thanksgiving and Christmas will no longer be “just the family”. I can’t even imagine my children, being as young as they are, having to be away from everyone they know and love, especially at Christmas time. I am in almost constant prayer for the many children that the Lord already knows will come through our home over the next year. It is quite a task that lies ahead, but I feel it is my task for the taking. I will embrace my new roll as God continues to give me peace, wisdom, and inspiration in preparing my home and my family for what is to come.
Therefore, I will treasure these moments of quiet stillness. Change will soon be here.
~audrey